You want a better story.

s'all I'm sayin'

2009-03-04T22:39:30Z

Mit luftpudefartøj er fyldt med ål

survey.

2008-12-21T20:54:11Z

What are the ten first words you think of when you think of (my) Blaise Zabini?

Any other associations? Anything, stories, music, colours, activities, time of year, whatever seems relevant. ~~If you like, give me one of yours, and I'll do the same.~~

ETA: actually, humour me and do this with one of your own characters on your own journal. I promise I'll respond to it.

you deserve much better [gg 2x13]

2008-12-10T10:25:00Z

...except that I have made an error. I apologise deeply, and hope this doesn't forever tarnish my reputation and so on et cetera. Ladies and gentlemen, I was wrong. Chuck Bass is not a 3w4.

ETA: I've missed my calling in life. I would be a really good writer for a trashy tv show. Really good.

less bad is no good

2008-11-27T18:04:47Z

Everyone must watch THIS.

It is worth every single one of those 50 mins and more. Watch it, make everyone you know watch it, watch it all the way through to the end, and see if your vision of the world and of humanity hasn't altered at least a little. People keep looking at me doubtfully when I tell them there is a way to do it better. This could be the way.

Yes, I know it's thanksgiving. Why don't we start with doing - or even just thinking - something that deserves being thanked.

today the best you can do is good enough

2008-11-05T08:21:18Z

I am more than a little touched to be in the middle of what seems to be world history in the making. I am relieved, a touch ecstatic and more than anything else - hopeful. To the Americans I know; damn, you did well. You got it right. And because the world is weird and unbalanced, that means you got it right not just for you, but for all the rest of us as well. I got to get up this morning, check the news and think maybe the world will be an okay place for my children to grow up in after all. Thank you, thank you for that.

BEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER

2008-10-24T12:32:14Z

JENSEN ACKLES IS GOD

ETA: re: SPN. Oh, /dear/. Oh, Jensen, you slay me. Wow. half of that was hilarious. The other half was wrenching. How is that man so good. Just, ngh. ALSO, by now it has to be on purpose; am I the only one who's noticed that whenever something is really fucked up with Dean, it's always somehow about his heart, in various senses of that? Yeah, that just. It gets me every time.

you said i tasted famous, so i drew you a heart

2008-07-28T00:25:20Z

blossomslut tagged me, and the prettiness of the procrastination was evidently too much to resist.

There's a guy and a girl list. The other way didn't make sense to me.

MEN
This was difficult, especially putting them in order, and likely it would be at least slightly different if I had to do it again in a week. And I'm not sure if I forgot some; though, if I did, they probably shouldn't be on the list anyway.

1. Jonathan Rhys Meyers [Leo]

The first picture I ever saw of JRM, before I knew who he was, was a pb - for sicarian's Blaise Zabini, and it made me catch my breath a little. I don't actually remember what the first movie I saw him in was, but everything he does gives the impression that he is an intense and intensely sexual person; and, to my taste, pretty much the most beautiful man out there.

2. Gale Harold [Cancer]

Brian Kinney, end of story. I think it's the only time I've actually gone glassy-eyed over a tv show character.

3. Joaquin Phoenix [Scorpio]

Gladiator, and then The Village and between those two portrayals I find myself utterly melted and wanting to touch. To the best of my abillity to determine a scorpio sexual four.

4. Brad Pitt [Saggitarius]

Interview with a Vampire, but I fell for him, embarrassingly, in Legends of the Fall (that hair). What really appeals to me, more than the looks, is the striking combination of ruthless force and true heart, and the sense in almost every character he plays that it isn't quite safe. That something here could be dangerous, watch out, you'll get pushed over the edge.

5. Kevin Zegers [Virgo]

This boy just has that certain something. Glint in his eyes, quirky smile, drop dead gorgeous, long hair. I saw him in Transamerica where he is trashy, angry and quite gay, and every picture I see makes me want to ravish him.

Honorable mention to a whole bunch;
Jensen Ackles [Pisces]. I first saw him as Alec on Dark Angel, and that character made me fall a little in love - and want to shag him senseless. Those eyes.

Ben Barnes [Leo], this is obviously a very new addition to the list, and just as obviously I first saw him in Stardust, but didn't really sit up and take notice until Prince Caspian - and ironically, it was watching interviews, more than the movie itself, that really won me over. He's actually much higher on the list, but I know myself well enough to know that's most likely due to me still being in the initially fascinated phase.

Christian Bale [Aquarius] completely won me over with his performance in Equillibirium, which means I loved him before he got famous with Batman. While not my type as such, Bale has an intensity and depth of emotion to his acting that gets to me. And that voice, and those hands.

Russell Crowe [Aries]. A cocky bastard eight who smirks like that and with a voice that sounds as if he's been fucking and drinking all night? Cut me a slice, baby. I saw him first in Gladiator and I keep being enticed.

- and the guys who play Alex Karev and Mark Sloan (lose the beard) on Grey's, as well as that guy who play(ed?) Sawyer (seriously, lose the beard) on LOST. Male eights tend to make me shivery, in the really really good way.

I realise Johnny Depp isn't on the list; I don't actually think he's very sexy, or sexually inclined. The only movie that seems that way is Don Juan, and off-screen he doesn't really tickle my fancy. I think he's a breathtaking actor, but i'd much rather talk with him than roll him in the sheets.

WOMEN
And this was difficult as well, simply because there are not that many women I find really desireable.

1. Angelina Jolie [Gemini]

This woman is a goddess and I don't think it's possible to have a pulse and not want her. Sexual four for the fucking win. I was incredibly slow to catch on to her, but I think the first movie that caught my attention was Mr & Mrs Smith. If I put the two lists together, she would come in second only because she is female, and I'm very fond of males in bed. Like, very.

2. Eliza Dushku [Capricorn]

Faith on Buffy, of course, and I wanted to get in her leather pants from pretty much her first appearance on screen. While arguably the least beautiful in the top five women, Dushku just hits it right on the nail when it comes to my type in women (Angelina doesn't count. Angelina is a goddess).

3. Scarlett Johannson [Scorpio]

I don't like classical beauty ideals, and I don't particularly like blonds, but Scarlett manages to surpass both categories by virtue of being sensual and just that gorgeous. Match Point, with JRM, nnh.

4. Winona Ryder [Scorpio]

I haven't really seen her in something where she was very sexy, but some quality to her eyes and voice is fascinating. She seems intense, and as if she would be good at giving in. And she looks the way I would like to look in my next life; her eyes, my god. I think the first time I saw her was in Edward Scissorhands, but one of my favourite of her movies is Alien IV; I wanted the deranged half-alien and the angsty android to get it on, and that probably says more about me than about the movie.

5. Jessica Alba [Taurus]

This is the odd one out. She seems way too sweet for my taste, but I first saw her as Max on Dark Angel, and the sheer sexy pretty of her and Jensen together melts me into a puddle. Plus, you have to look long to find someone who looks that good in skintight leather.

Honorable mention to Natalie Dormer [aquarius] aka Anne Boleyn from The Tudors; incidentally one of the most scorching on-screen pairings I have ever seen. And to Nicole Kidman [scorpio], whom I first loved in Moulin Rouge. I don't care if she's old. Every performance I've seen her in gives the impression she'd be fierce in bed.

Yeah, yeah, I have a type. I really do.

by candlelight.

2007-12-25T00:11:27Z

happy christmas. much love.

VF chp. 1

2007-12-01T02:54:46Z

Co-written with the hot saucy blossomslut.
Warnings: angst. angst. angst. angst. capslocks.

VENOMOUS FRICTION, chapter 1

"OH MY GODS, MALFOY, DO YOU ALWAYS WEAR YOU LEATHER PANTS LIKE THAT?" HARRY ASKED

"SHUT UP, POTTER," DRACO SAID VENEMOUSLY. HE HATED POTTER. "I HATE YOU. I BET YOU TASTE LIKE CHOCOLATE."

"THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH CHOCOLATE!" HARRY EXCLAIMED, FEELING MOMENTARILY TEARFUL AT THE MEMORY OF THE LOSS OF YET ANOTHER OF HIS FAKE FATHERS. HIS LEAF-GREEN EYES WERE SHINING WITH UNSHED TEARS AND HE HASTILY SHOVED MALFOY UP AGAINST THE WALL SO HE WOULDN'T SEE. "AND I HATE /YOU/!" HE HISSED, SOUNDING LIKE A THOUSAND MATING SNAKES.

DRACO GASPED, FEELING HIS HEART OF ICE MELT BECAUSE OF THE FIERYNESS OF POTTER'S GAZE. "POTTER. DON'T." HE WANTED TO TURN HIS FACE AWAY BUT POTTER'S EYES WERE MESMERIZING IN THEIR GREENNESS, DEEP LIKE THE OCEAN, AND HE COULDN'T LOOK AWAY. "I CAN'T. MY FATHER WOULD KILL ME." A TEAR ROLLED DOWN HIS CHEEK, AND DRACO THE ICE PRINCE FELT LIKE MAYBE, MAYBE HARRY COULD SAVE HIM.

HARRY SHIVERED AS MALFOY'S LITHE, GRACEFUL, SENSUAL HIPS WERE SUDDENLY PRESSED AGAINST HIS OWN, THE VERY VERY LOWCUT LEATHER PANTS REVEALING AN ICY EXPANSE OF SUBTLY GLIMMERING SKIN AND HIS HEART TWISTED WITH A RED FIERY TWIST IN HIS CHEST WHEN THE SINGLE TEAR JUST HAPPENED TO FALL UNTO HIS LIPS, AND HE SUDDENLY TASTED THE LONELY BITTERNESS OF HIS ARCHNEMEIS' EXISTENCE. "DRACO! I MEAN, MALFOY" - HARRY'S VOICE SHUDDERED LIKE A SHIP IN A WILD STORM, "PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO HELP YOU."

DRACO SHIVERED AT THE SOUNDS THAT SUDDENLY FELL FROM HARRY'S BEAUTIFULLY RED AND CHEWED LIPS, SINUOUS AND SNAKE-LIKE. HE GROANED, ARCHING HIS LEATHER-CLAD HIPS TOWARD HARRY'S TANNED BODY, FEELING THE UTTER WRONGNESS OF THE SITUATION BUT UNABLE TO STOP HIMSELF. "HARRY," HE SAID, SURPRISED AT HOW RIGHT THAT NAME SOUNDED ON HIS LIPS (AND HOW /WRONG/.) "YOU CAN'T SAVE ME."

Web 2.0 and the dissolution of intellectual property

2007-11-27T10:18:36Z

I’m working towards being a professional in the communication and design business. This means I am kept up to date on the trends in the media world. One of these trends – the next huge one – is nicknamed Web 2.0. It’s already a tired term, but it basically applies to social media (such as, for example, Livejournal, MySpace, forums, etc etc.). Medias that allow people to interact with one another through it. Communicate, exchange ideas, share material, solve assignments and whatever else you can think of.

One of the big issues of this – from a commercial point of view - is that material on the internet is easy for anyone to take and do with as they wish. The music and movie industry are fighting a losing battle against piracy.
With the exception of bands like Radiohead, who published their latest album on the internet for free download. Basically, people could choose how much they wanted to pay for it, or chose not to pay anything at all and just take the music.
Guess what? It looks like they’ll be making more on this album than all their former ones.

The way much of our generation, and certainly the next one, use the internet calls for the user to become co-creator, rather than just consumer. Content (and by content we mean any material distributed on the net) has become available for the wide masses to play with, to share, to use as they want, rather than the way the original creators of the material intended. The idea of property is becoming fluid, and companies that sit too tightly and hysterically on their rights in that regard are regarded as backward and lacking in innovative potential. They’re being left way behind by the companies who, rather than taking issue with it, sees the potential and makes good use of it. The idea of viral marketing has sprung up out of this, and basically means that you pusblish materials which is so inspiring and cool that you make people want to play with it, share it, make it their own.

An example. Pepsi made this viral. They spent 25 million DKr on it – this is about 5 million dollars. To date, it’s been viewed a total of about 100.000 times. It doesn’t take a math genius to figure out that this is a tad expensive per viewing.
Some college boys in Japan then made this, a few days after the official Pepsi add has been seeded. The cost: nothing. Views to date: 500.000+.
Word on the street is, rather than getting hysterical and starting lawsuits, Pepsi sent the boys a year’s supply of soda.
Clever of Pepsi.

Now, apart from the delightful perspectives in this, the reason I bring it up is that I was accused of stealing icons. It’s quite possible that the icons in question were indeed made by this girl; for the purpose of the exercise, we assume they were. I don’t know, because I’m terrible about keeping track of where I find icons and pictures, I keep them in a pile, and once I get around to using them, I have no idea any longer.

Now, as should be obvious from the above, I think the idea of intellectual property in this context is more than questionable. I know for a fact that the photos most of us use to make icons are definitely not photos we’ve taken ourselves. The universes we play in are inspired by books we didn’t write. Some of the characters we play are invented by people other than us. The music we listen to while playing them is illegally downloaded. In effect, stolen. And we don’t question this. We’re used to this being the way things are done. We’re web 2.0 users. We assume we can just do this, we interact with the media, we make it our own. This is, of course, the reason I’m not particular about remembering to credit. I do it if I’m asked to or if I remember it, but in the media world I’m used to thinking about, it doesn’t truly matter.

With this in mind, the accusation of theft strikes me as ridiculous. And to avoid hypocrisy, I’d like to take the opportunity to give away any and all icons of my own making that anyone might want, both the ones on my own journal and any character journals. If anyone wants them, they can take them. No credit, no commenting, no notification is needed. It anything of mine is good enough to be inspiring, to make someone want to use it, please, go ahead. (though, given my laziness in regards to remembering which icons are mine, you risk an attack from the less tolerant. Most of them are mine, though. If you feel inspired, I encourage you to dare to take the risk).

And on another note; please keep your perspective. We’re not starving in Darfur.

Don't do this at home [Heroes 2x9]

2007-11-20T23:57:20Z

Cationary Tales indeed. Good episode. Wow, did I think Noah had kicked it.

I have, with the amused tolerance of my resident 1, been typing the Heroes characters while watching the new season with avid interest.

Mohinder - Social 1w2. Could be nothing else. It's even in his dialogue. And boy, did he make the wrong choices.
Noah - 8w.....8. I started out thinking he was a 1, but after we get to know his motivations, there's no doubt. As we've learned, 8s shoot the people who threaten the ones they love. 1s shoot the people who threaten their moral point of view. Even when it's good people.
Claire - I honestly don't know. Probably a heart type, definitely a Social. Could be a 3w2.
West - (Rosen! He's called Rosen) Anti-social 4. And ok, a cutie.
Hiro - 1w2. The sweetest, nicest 1 in the history of the world, but 1 even so. He always does what he believes is right.
Ando - 6. Sidekicks often are.
Adam - I don't know him very well, but I think for now I'll guess low selfpres 3. He's charming and manipulative and thoroughly dishonest. It doesn't matter how I win, so long as I win.
Nicki - well, I'm on the fence about Nicki, for obvious reasons, but... I'm going to go with Sx 4. Angelina Jolie is an Sx 4. They can kick ass.
Peter - Sexual 2w1. I considered 4, but the imperative to help and the conplimentary sense of one's own worthlesness is too great. He also has the selfish aspect, and the powerline to 8. One of the show's rather few obvious Sexuals.
Nathan - Tough call. At a guess, Social 1w2. But I'll hear arguments for others.
Matt - 3w2. But I don't find him all that interesting.
Bob - hmm. I really don't know. I can't see through his motivations. Could be low Social 3.
Elle - Low Sexual 8. Also, crazy crazy crazy. Seeing her and Peter together made my skin crawl with revulsion and I wanted to cheer when Noah hd her trussed up and zapping herself.
Sylar - I really considered this one, and I have to go with Antisocial low 4. The worst thing he can imagine is to be ordinary.
The twins - I don't even know. Maya could be a 4 as well, but it's too early to tell. Alejandro is definitely a Sexual.

And the sadly dead Isaac was a Sexual 4w5. Don't look at me like that, I'm not prejudiced.

And if anyone has brilliant suggestions on how to market Icelandic niche music to 13 year olds, please, I'm all ears.

Am being coached by a professional enneagram coach on thursday. I can't decide whether to be delighted or terrified.

ETA: Wow, I talk enneagram a lot.

little girl, little girl, you should close your eyes

2007-11-17T18:12:47Z

>.< life. Just.

In other news, the Danish election can be summed up, as Peter my teacher eloquently did on his own blog, in one word: sucks. The new party whose goal it is to go against the horrible, horrible nationalist party, did not get half the votes they were supposed to get. Good democracy leaves noone happy, hm?

I seem to have conspired with misread_ to fabulate a five-generation Malfoy family plot with everything that one might expect of such a venture; secret cults, great visions, bastard children, murders, exotic locations, starcrossed love and so on (the house elf didn't do it). And of course, gorgeous people. If we're going to be cliché, we can at least do it beautifully.

A song; stranger things have happened. ♥

It occurs to me that I have yet to find an excuse to cast Jensen Ackles into the HP universe, which, knowing me, is a little disappointing.

wonder what's so great about sunshine.

2007-11-12T18:55:26Z

The word of the day yesterday was:
mercurial \mur-KYUR-ee-uhl\, adjective:
4. Changeable in temperament or mood; temperamental; volatile.

___________

Stolen with love from the inimitable blossomslut.

1. the age you will be on your next birtday.

’the travel descriptions of (whoever) to the east indies 1665-1684’.
Now I’m curious what the east indies were like in 1675.

2. a place you’d like to travel.

Yes. I want to go there, right there.

3. your favourite place.

… that wasn’t the kind of visualisation I had in mind. Google is a delightfully random place. No, I don’t particularly enjoy being in (on?) a coat of arms, though I guess it would be rather neat. I always did want to have one.

4. your favourite object.

Mine is prettier. It has a black pearl, too.

5. your favourite food.

I realise any Malfoys in the vicinity would disown me, but. Real, genuine, Italian pizza, baked in one of those ovens where they use real wood for fuel, made with love and tradition. And red wine. I’m an odd creature.

6. your favourite animal.

This is just a handsbreath short of a unicorn with rainbow coloured mane and tail, I know, I know. I never outgrew this fascination. They’re soft and warm like silk to the touch, isn’t that amazing.

7. your favourite colour.

smiles. It seems google likes me to be tacky today. I was hoping for, oh idk, blood drops.

8.the town you were born in.

it does have it’s moments, I suppose.

9. the town you live in.

spelled another way.

10. the name of a pet you used to have.

how this came up, I really cannot say. I wonder what it is. It looks like something from the forbidden forest in ElfQuest.

11. the name of a past love.

…. Haha, well. If all else fails, there is always a picture of a cute kitten, apparently. He might even appreciate the association.

12. your screenname.

PUSSY POWER XDDDD damn straight.

13. your first name.

my name is old, what can I say.

14. your middle name.

and my middle name is shared with a famous swedish painter. Actual blood relation, though very far out.

15. your family name.

this is apparently made by a student on the Danish Design School in Copenhagen. I am amused.

16. a bad habit of yours.

and sometimes it hits the head on the nail. Perfect.

18. your first job.

I think the primary communication in this is ‘mysterious fish-whisperer’ – which isn’t what I googled. but now I want to put that on my business cards.

19. the name of your grandmother.

well, it looks like it’s about as old as she is.

20. your major in college.

… Yes, I do in fact major in Olympic Fish Jumping. We’re a rare and exclusive elite.

Blaise Rosen Zabini, 27

2007-11-07T13:57:44Z

I do think it's more than a little insane to celebrate the fictional birthday of fictional characters, but you know, I rather adore Blaise, hissy little scorpio sexual four piece of my ego that he is. If I've done the math right (and I'm not sure I have) he's 27 today. On a more meta level, he's not quite two years old. He was played for the very first time on the 9th of january 2006 - that post is here, for nostalgia's sake.

If anyone or their character wants to say happy birthday in person, there are two posts over at playingatdusk. slanting_eyes has one here specific to him (he seems to be everyone's favourite version, amusingly. I guess it's like Coke. The original is the best). And the meta/realtime one for any other characters is here. If anyone is insane enough to, you know, want to talk to the character in person (not that I personally know any players who might be crazy enough for that <<) you're welcome to jump in there as well. If I was a braver person than I am, I'd take him into TDR for the occasion, but you know, my valour does know it's limits, and he'd hate it anyway.

Cheers, darlings new and old. ♥

Stephen Colbert for God

2007-10-09T20:18:37Z

My favourite teacher has a blog entitled Get Rid Of The Province. I absolutely adore my favourite teacher. Today, he promoted this clip of Stephen Colbert, whom I've heard mentioned, but never actually seen or really known what was about.

Well, now I have. America, elect this guy president. I am not kidding. My GOD, he's fucking amazing. I am speechless.

ETA: where can I watch this guys show? they don't have it on Danish channels and obviously Denmark doesn't have the american channels. Help me out, I need to.

Cry havoc [SPN 3x01]

2007-10-05T13:16:01Z

I feel a response to the season premiere of Supernatural is called for.

I must admit, I was hoping for more.
Recalling the opening of season Two, which was breathtaking, I really rather hoped the writers would have gone for a more narrow focus (My Time Of Dying worked exactly because it was much more focused, much more quiet, than usual episodes while remaining spectacularly true to the spirit of the show). I realise the lines probably ought to be drawn up, but I had the same problem I had with the finale two-parter of the last season; there was no dwelling, there was no poignancy, there was hardly a quiet moment. A few; Sam and Dean locking eyes in the candlelit room. Some glances now and then. But overall it was slightly breathless, scattered episode that felt like noone was really on form or quite knew where they were going.

The dialogue made me wince; come on, we know you can do better. It was either tacky and unneccesary or it was too explicit. The last conversation between the brothers was almost the only decent piece of writing, and it felt squeezed in. I realise the show has a habit of going action for most of the episode and then dropping the emotive moments on the audience in the last three minutes; but this time it was a bad tactic.

And WHAT is up with the sex and violence tackyness?? A big-busted blond with a Killer Knife From Hell (or Heaven, whatever), doing a deus ex machina? I know the show's style calls for gritty, a bit of cliche, Dean's particular brand of corny, but I'm used to seeing it done with another layer beneath it, so that the more intelligent part of the audience can read into that while the 16-year old boys drool over the sex and guns. I felt talked down to, and I really resent that from a show I know can do so much better. Sex, guns and rock'N'Roll sell the show, sure, but must it be instead of the emotional subtlety we know these boys can play to perfection when they're given good scripts?

Also; credibillity. The Seven Deadly Sins, taken care of in a single night by the expedience of luck, holy water and an annoying babe? Well, if it's that easy, bring on the war, obviously they can handle it. I know that's not what the characters SAID - the script made a point of mentioning repeatedly how bad their situation is, it was kind of the ONLY point the script consistently made - but don't tell it, show it. Whay we SAW was a dead extra (and how many of those have we seen by now, truly? I didn't have time to be invested in Isaac enough to feel anything other than pure revulsion at the graphic way he was killed onscreen) and some slightly clumsy demon-slaying (what's up with the stakes? We haven't forgotten that we all watched Buffy, you know).

If the situation is desperate, I want to see desperation. I want to see the kind of barely-hanging-on we saw in Salvation, in Devil's Trap. I want to see how fucking messed up the boys feel, i don't just want to be told. We can all figure it out, we can do the math, Dean's doomed and he sold his soul for Sam. Come on, it's supposed to be wrenching! I don't watch it for the guns or the breasts. I watch it for the way Jensen Ackles can turn a single glance into something heartbreaking. I want to see it.

As a sidenote, I was distracted a little by mentally ticking off type traits for each of the boys, and I'm honestly getting rather tired by the heavy 7 emphasis on Dean. I like him much, much better when they drop that and he either comes through as the 8 defender he is or lays bare what's underneath (strong but balanced 8s tend to make me want to roll over and get naked). Sam does a rather good Four, and when the 4/8 dynamic is allowed to play, it plays well. On a tangent, Bobby is either a strong 6 or a low-key 8; my money's on 6. Sam is a dead-on Sexual (I think the people who faint over him do it because of that), Dean is a Self-pres (having a lot of sex doesn't make you a sexual; connecting intimately does, and 99% of his liasons are very superficial. In fact, I'd hazard he has a blind sexual instinct). The show as such has a lot of 8/7 emphasis. I guess my point is, I want more Four!

Do better, SPN. I really want to love this show.

It would be a sticky but luxurious demise

2007-09-24T23:16:26Z

The city rises from the sand, pale and ragged like a heap of broken bones from some antediluvian creature. Beyond it, in the far distance, a reddish haze above the horizon tells of the beginning of the Dune Sea. Grim scowls ferociously and gives me a glance as if to say This is all your fault. I shrug wearily. In a sense, he’s right to blame me. To be certain, I’ve blamed myself often enough. Behind me, Tear coughs dryly and I know a moment of worry for her, but shrug it off, again. Her own choice to come here, and no fault of mine that the sands are harsh on her soft and Waterborn flesh. I lick my lips, tasting salt, bitter and dry, then heave myself to my feet once more. Tonight, we shall sleep within walls.

_ _ _

‘My story is a tragedy,’ he says, and looks up at her.
She stands poised and silent, and the expression that meets him is one of complete understanding without a shred of compassion.
‘That may be so,’ She allow gravely, ‘Or it may not. The choice was always your own’
‘Was it?’ The bitterness in his voice is sharp and undiluted. He thinks about the covenant broken and the children, her touch in snowcold darkness, a touchstone for the heart. ‘Sometimes I’m not so certain.’
She makes no answer, but reaches across the scarred grey table to pluck a cup lightly from his hand. Their fingers brush as she does so, and he closes his eyes, but she gives no sign that she has noticed. With a careless movement she takes the cup and flings it hard against the sandstrewn floor. It shatters with a crack like a gunshot and he stares in something like shock at the dark drops disappearing rapidly into the stone.
‘Waste.’ She says dryly.
In the corner, a girl with very red hair has startled awake at the sound. Now she watches the man and the woman with wide, pale eyes and does not make a sound.
He looks down again, and his left hand wanders unconsciously to the ornate sheath at his belt. The woman has gathered the flowing robes about her and draws a veil across her face to protect from the stinging wind outside. At a sign from her, the girl jumps nimbly to her feet and starts to gather her own cloak. The man watches them, his own matted red hair pushed back wearily from his face. Almost imperceptibly, change chases itself across his features and he sits up straighter on the bench. When he speaks again, the weariness has been replaced with quiet intensity.
‘I have loved you with all the passion of my soul. I would have you at my side always.’
She stands motionless for a moment, arrested in the movement fo leavetaking. Something balances in the silence. Then she releases a soft breath he did not see her holding and shakes her head slightly.
‘It is too late for that.’ A pause. He is peripherally aware of the little girl’s eyes on him, but dares not look at her, for so many reasons. ‘Perhaps you are right and it was always too late. Or I am right and we chose differently long ago.’
He nods, having no words. He wants to say he never wanted to believe in fate, the weary fighting in circles down through the ages. But it is, as she has said, much too late to say such things, and he knows too well that choices, once taken, echo down through forever.
She halts in the doorway and speaks his name – a last concession, the name she first knew him by, not the other that time and fate has forced upon him – softly, one last time.

_ _ _

(He looks up and meets her eyes across the room and realises just then that he has been in love with her, and that it is too late now. She looks hurt and determined and absolutely lovely. )

count backwards from 2½, slowly

2007-08-29T23:54:24Z

Boo!

I know he’s evil, but you should see him naked! [fictional crushes]

2007-08-25T10:58:38Z

The casting call spectacle and following IM discussions on various characters has reminded me of the phenomenon of fictional crushes. I think everyone who hangs out in fandom is familiar with the idea; the character in a book or movie or even fanfic that you just love and want to know better (in the case of roleplayers, often want to play). I used to do this a lot when I was younger. It’s quite rare these days, but I must admit, it does happen. I'm sure there are more than these, but these were the ones most prominent in my memory, so I suppose they wanted to be told.

I’m exceedingly amused, reading through this list, at how many of these characters read unashamedly like Fours and/or Scorpios. So I have a type, so what.

Birk (‘birch’) from Astrid Lindgren’s Ronya. I was five years old and thus the crush was an entirely platonic one, fittingly so, since the girl main of the book loves Birk and thinks of him as a brother. Birk is a redhead, quiet, bright, a little sarcastic and with a strong heart and deep devotion, as well as a streak of jealousy. Unlike a lot of my other fictional crushes, an unquestionably Good and moral character. I remember wanting a friend just like him so badly, and telling my mom so with all the empassioned eagerness of a five year old with an occasionally slippery grip on Reality. I can still read this book and sigh.

Atreju from The Neverending Story (the BOOK! Not the movies).
Oh, I loved this character. I was six years old. Atreju is the narrative foil for the main character (who starts the story as something of a loser). He’s brave beyond his years (which is twelve, if I recall correctly), a little wild, something of a loner, and he is put through unreasonable amounts of suffering, occasionally at the hands of the hero (who at one point stabs him through the chest. I take it as evidence of my early fascination with suffering characters that this was the chapter I wanted read to me again and again and again). Green skin (hey, fantasy) and long black hair. This coincided with my RL meeting of my first actual, if platonic, crush, a girl who had, wait for it, long black hair. Thus was a life-long fascination born.
Atreju, as well, stayed in my mind for years and years, and was the hero of many stories I told myself in whispers at night before I fell asleep.

Bran Davies from The Dark Is Rising | The Grey King.
Bran is the lost son of King Arthur stranded in our time. Snarky, loner-ish and albino, he was the first pale character I ever loved, and probably planted the seed for my particular liking of Draco’s colouring (we all have an excuse, I’m sure). Bran was a sidekick character, but always compelled me rather more than Will, the heroic main (though as YA heroes go, Will does a hell of a good job on the occasional Moral Ambiguity™). Bran stayed in my mind many years after I read the books. My Blaise’s father is named after him, though there is little likeness in looks or personality.

Raistlin Majere from DragonLance Chronicles.
I think perhaps this horribly cliché but nevertheless irrsistable character is the reason for my roleplaying stereotype. I was twelve when I read the books, and the bitter, power-hungry, fragile, insightful and Darkly Morally Ambigious™ Mage pwned my heart very hard. Two years later, he was the the first character I ever played in a roleplaying game, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Rayek from ElfQuest.
Proud, talented, jealous, gorgeous, Morally Ambigious™ and let’s not forget, vulnerable on the inside. Rayek plays the villain for parts of the story, but is actually the anti-hero. He gets his angsty redemption, after having suitably unhappily fallen for the real villain, a heartless and cruel woman whose mad soul he ends up torturously carrying within himself so that it will not do harm to others. For those who do not know, ElfQuest is a comic. I was about 13 when I first started reading them, and my grasp of English was rather imperfect, but I recall seeing the first panel that had Rayek in it and going OHMYGOSH, who gives a damn about the hero, cut me a slice of this.
If anyone feels they are seeing similarities to my own rpg characters yet, sftu. I deny everything. If anyone was to point out, say, any physical likenesses between Rayek and my pb for Blaise, I have no idea what you’re talking about.

Sully on Dr. Quinn.
I was twelve. This must necessarily be an excuse. Hides.

Fox Mulder on X-Files.
Mulder is totally out of number, as far as my type goes. He’s probably a 5w4, way too old and not longhaired in the slightest. Plenty angsty, I suppose. I guess it’s the hunted loner aspect that did it. Well, and the rare glimpses of gentleness. I’m a sucker, so what, don’t judge.

Spike on Buffy.
I think this one’s mandatory. Who doesn’t love a bad-ass with a soft heart and a leather coat?

Alec/X5-494 on Dark Angel.
Ooooh, gosh.This was a bad one. What can I say, Jensen Ackles has eyes to die for, and all his characters have a bleeding heart, even when the rest of them is hardcore to the point of pain. And there is something a little bit irresistable in unrequited lovestories, especially as subtle as this show did Alec/Max. That, and I’m an absolute sucker for such pretty.
Even that aside, Alec was a fascinating character who didn’t tell his secrets and made me want to play him very badly, though I never managed to pull it off to my own satisfaction.

Dean Winchester on Supernatural.
Me and the other 437563874 fangirls. I know, I know. At this point I think it’s mostly just a fan-crush on Jensen Ackles, really. But oh, Dean. SPN’s scripts may not always be the best, but the particular emotional truth that shines through in Dean never fails to make my heart ache a little.

Brian Kinney on Queer as Folk.
Alright, this is the only current one, and I blame Cami and Michie a whole damn lot and I am TOO OLD to have fictional crushes. But. This character is so much fucking love that I do not have words. Not incidentally, he is dead on for Blaise in so many aspects that I’ve given up counting. He’s Blaise as a muggle. And he’s gorgeous and goddamn Four and he moves like a predator on a dance floor, not to mention in bed. Michie was sitting next to me when I watched the introduction to his character in the first episode and I think she had a fine time watching me go OO wideyed and making small incoherent sounds to the effect of omgomgomg and kindly reassured me that I wasn’t the only one seeing the resemblance, not to mention the hot.
Heart of an angel, mind of a devil. Brian fucking Kinney.

I never crushed on anyone from Lord of the Rings, book or movies, though I was terribly fond of Faramir in both. I also never crushed on anyone from Canon HP.
I considered adding in Peter Petrelli from Heroes, but he doesn’t really count. He’s not a fictional crush, just an amazingly well written and played character whose storyline I sympathise deeply with. It’s a fine line. I suppose the bottom line is, I don’t think he’s all that sexy (though, with the scar… <<)
Oh, and I guess I ought to name Leonardo and Raphael from TMNT. For the sake of honesty and turtle power, and all that jazz.

And, even though I tend not to include roleplaying characters in these considerations, silverfringe, Oblivi8’s Draco, deserves special mention. ♥

but bereft, for the moment, of heat

2007-08-12T02:03:23Z

What do you think when I say touched? Please elaborate.

It's late. Oh, indulgence.

I lay a cloak around your shoulders in the first light of dawn

2007-08-03T10:39:36Z

I promised casting calls to the people who answered my last post. Here’s the first one, Morgan acidpop25 I TAG YOU. It was hard to do, because you’re an uncommonly talented and wide-ranged roleplayer, and I probably missed my mark with some of these. I am excluding characters I know you already play or have played.
Oddly, there are no HP characters in here. But there are a lot that I love. There are also no Shakespeare, not because I don't think you're suited, but because I'd have to read up on it.

Giles (Buffy/Angel) Not exactly a typical cast, but gosh, I’d love to see you do that dry, English humour and his occasional BADASS moments. I don’t think I ever came across anyone else I’d trust to play Giles well.

Paul Schaefer (Fionavar Tapestry Trilogy by Guy Gaviel Kay) A character very much defined by grief, guilt and power. Quiet and observant and breakable.

Ophelia (Shakespeare’s Hamlet) Prince Hamlet’s beloved who goes mad with grief and ends up drowning herself in the river.

Death (the Sandman) No introduction needed. XD

Ged/Sparrowhawk (A Wizard of Earthsea by Ursula LeGuin) I hope you know these, and Ged is actually one of the characters closest to my heart. If you don’t know it READ IT.

Eowyn (LotR) I already told you this. ♥

Arwen (LotR) As hardcore as you can be, you also do softness amazingly well. And elves, well, they just seem to be you. Actually, I could name a whole bunch of elves. You get the idea.

Ammar ibn Khairan (Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay) Poet, courtier and mercenary. Keen sense of irony and aesthetics. Almost slashed with one of the other mains (at least there is enough subtext for any slasher to frolic with). You’d love his pov.

Jehane bet Ishak (Lions of Al-Rassan by Guy Gavriel Kay) Doctor, in love with two men who both love her. I think this is because she reminds me a little bit of Tracey, but she is also an amazing character.

Bran Davies (The Dark Is Rising books (specifically The Grey King and Silver on the Tree) by Susan Cooper) I really hope you know this one, too. Bran is one of childhood fictional crushes. He’s the lost son of King Arthur stranded in modern times, an albino and sarcastic, lonerish and brave. I named Blaise’s father after him.

Blaise de Gorhaut (A Song For Arbonne by Guy Gavriel Kay) Yes, he’s called Blaise, and you actually need to read this book. It’s a fantasy inspired by medieval Provence.

Fitz-Chivalry (The Assasin Trilogy by Robin Hobb) Actually, you might even be one of the few people in the world who could pull of The Fool, but I wouldn’t push him on anyone.

Strongbow (ElfQuest) This one was easy. There’s probably more, but he’s the best fitted. Also, gorgeous. ~~I’m keeping Rayek for myself~~

Ivy Walker (The Village) She has some of that fragile feeling paired with heart-deep strenght that I also associate with Arwen. I don’t why that suits you, I haven’t exactly seen you play it, but it does. You’d also be great as Lucius Hunt, but he’s a less developed character.

Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow (Batman Begins) Don’t ask, I don’t know. XD

And speaking of Crane, Ichabod Crane (Sleepy Hollow). Hush. You WOULD do that well, and it can’t all be serious.

…I’m sure I could think of more. But this will have to do for now. ♥

the same big and little words [all spelling out desire]

2007-08-02T13:58:29Z

RPG-wise; I have a habit of casting myself into the stereotype of the Antihero, the Morally Ambigious & Tomented Loner - the character who does evil deeds, and is forgiven by the audience because he (mostly he) is acting out of a ruined, painful background and is generally aware of his transgressions.

I play Blaise Zabini. I play Salazar Slytherin. I've had rpg flirtations with Alec, Regulus Black and Dean Winchester (to the best of my abillity, at least). I was told yesterday that I would be a convincing Commodus.

I'm curious. Who else would I be good at? Tell me who you could see me play, and play well. Any character goes, movie, book, whatever - though it's more fun if I know it, of course. I'll try to retailaite to the best of my abillity.

ETA: The full list of suggestions, so far. I am flattered and delighted and a bit flustered. The ones of these that I know are all characters I love and some of them I think are way beyond my abillities. Morgan and Michie, I owe you both proper lists in return. ♥ ♥ ♥

Commodus (Gladiator)
…and Lucilla (Gladiator)
Lestat de Lioncourt (Interview with a Vampire)
…and Louis.
Hamlet (Shakespeare’s Hamlet, fancy that)
Rath Roiben Rye (Tithe) Delight!
Young Tom Riddle
Young Grindelwald ohgodplsyeskthx
Crowley (Good Omens) or War or Famine.
Boromir (LotR)
Galadriel (LotR)
Melkor or Maeglin (Silmarillion)
Dorian Grey (Oscar Wilde’s Picture of Dorian Grey)
Elphaba (Wicked)
Edmund (Shakespeare’s King Lear)
Iago (Shakespeare’s Othello)
Brutus (Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar)
Morpheus/Dream (The Sandman)
Faith (Buffy/Angel)
Edward (Twillight) I haven’t read this, so I’ll have to take it on faith.
Lain & Mika (Serial Experiments: Lain) Same, I don’t know it.
John Preston (Equillibrium)
Howl (Howl’s Moving Castle) … I seem to get Christian Bale casts a lot. Not that I mind. At all.
Issac Mendez (Heroes)
Peter Petrelli (Heroes)
Anne Boleyn (The Tudors)
And…. Batman/Bruce Wayne, as portrayed by Christian Bale. XD Thanks, Michie. That one made my evening.
ETA: Gambit (X-Men)
ETA: Magneto (X-Men)
ETA: Ares, God of War (Greek mythology) GOSH, Morgan!
ETA: Diarmuid dan Art (The Summer Tree) <33!!!
ETA: ...everyone from Rome. Oh, cami. XD
ETA: Ophelia (Hamlet)
ETA: James Norrington (PotC) ???! XDDDD
ETA: Elizabeth Swann (PotC) hmm.
ETA: James 'Sawyer' Ford (LOST) !! ♥ !!!
ETA: Lancelot (King Arthur) Why do you always talk to God and not to me!
ETA: Brian Kinney (Queer as Folk) must watch this. ETA: WATCHED IT AND OMG DIES ALL OVER THE PLACE YESPLSKTHX!!!
ETA: Isabelle or Theo (The Dreamers) have not seen it. should.
ETA: Saiyid (LOST) Deadly and silent, Morgan said. <3 And to that I add, noble and empathic, and yes, I do believe it's a match.

…no one said Catwoman. I feel that, since Batman has been mentioned, this is slightly distressing.

Oh, I suppose this calls for a list of actual characters I have played or do play. Some of these very briefly.

Harry Potter characters:
Blaise Zabini (4 official versions, countless AUs)
Regulus Black
Narcissa Malfoy
Su Li
Salazar Slytherin (this was a cast, and I’m delighted. Also addicted.)
Remus Lupin (for a couple of hours)
Draco (Cami’s, she lent him to me for fifteen mins, and it was terrifying, and I am never doing it again, but I learned more about him in that time than from playing off him for two years. Gosh.)
- - -
Alec (Dark Angel)
Dean Winchester (Supernatural)
Ismail & Tebriel Morningstar (AU Angel Sanctuary – actually OCs, but they merit mention because I love them so much and have played them extensively)
- - -
Raistlin Majere (Dragonlance) << Hush your face. I was 14. The bitter, morally ambigious ~~hot~~ young mage obviously spoiled my young and impressionable soul.

Countless, countless OCs.

ETA II: GOSH, STOP TALKING ABOUT HOBBIT FEET AND ELF EARS IN MY JOURNAL

ETA III: This post is made of win.

and then the question behind every question; what happens next?

2007-08-01T23:33:59Z

I realise all of fandom is clawing at the Next Generation of roleplaying characters like hungry wolves. I am loathe to jump the bandwagon simply because it is a bandwagon.
However. I have managed to develop an attachment to Scorpius in exactly the three seconds it took me to realise that this is Draco's son and he is, in actual canon fact, named Scorpius!. Sometimes JKR is too precious for words. Having done so, I foreswore to have anything to do with the next generation of Potters, which was promptly ruined by the efforts of one James II.

I also think Albus Severus is the stupidist name ever. Couldn't they have named him after Sirius, for christ's sake. And Harry/Ginny, don't even get me started.
But on occasion, things just jump out at me. Thanks to Fay for pointing out that it is possible to shorten that horrible, horrible name to Rus.

This is my favourite of the pictures, although apparently his fashion sense is dodgy.

Harry potter is Batman!

2007-07-23T02:31:15Z

This. Is the best. Review. ever.

HUGE SPOILERS Do NOT click if you don't want to be spoiled for Deathly Hallows.

Page 415: Ron is horribly enthused about having a super-wand. Hermione points out that it's not how super the wand is, but how well you use it. LOOK, I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP, IT IS ALL THERE ON THE PAGE, PEOPLE!

ETA: ...what the...? They suspended that journal?

I am, in fact, an aesthetic slut. LJ needs to respect.

2007-05-05T09:38:57Z